Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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