did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
