You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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