So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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