their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
