No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
