i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
