But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
