You can't special order awesome
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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