Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
