I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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