I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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