Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
