Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
