thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
