If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
