You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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