it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
