I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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