Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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