i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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