I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
