I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
