I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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