I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
