The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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