I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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