Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
