i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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