Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
