my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
