we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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