What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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