I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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