also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
