brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
