You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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