I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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