Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
