New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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