I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
