Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
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we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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