i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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