just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
