after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
