Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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