OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
