You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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