you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
