I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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