Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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