once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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