i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
