My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
