I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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