Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
