I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I know her cup size but not her name....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
