i think my tv is drunk
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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